One mans Dream another’s Nightmare:

Yes, my dream came true on 17th Wednesday 2008. I woke up at 7:30am and knew that this was the day!

There were a group of youngsters who asked if I was going to play Golf and needed a caddie… I said to myself’ Stupid question, No I am here to be the next Archery gold Medalist at Olympics and this was my armory. I met a tall lanky fit guy -Munniraj and asked him if he wanted to be part of history. He assumed I have been playing for a while and seemed happy that I chose him over others. The same feeling when my boss makes an obvious statement in a meeting and does not ask me about it even when I am the only one who has no clue about the obvious statement!!

My coach was finishing his morning cuppa and did not recognize me (Don’t know if he chose not to!!). Its only when he asked me if I was ready for my first step on the green that I saw the look of disbelief on my caddies face. It took him 2 Ganesh beedis back to back to come back to his senses and now he completely understood when I meant ‘part of history”. Slowly the look on his face changed from disbelief to accepting what fate had in store for him. He definitely had a long day in office today. Being a caddie is a great job but for some one like me it’s definitely not what you would term’ a walk in the park’. It’s more like treasure hunt to – Why you will gather shortly!

We were to Tee off at 930 and the moment I entered the Tee area, I saw half of Bangalore and Chennai seated near the Tee box, some smoking, some looking like they were just out of bed!!

Why were they there I asked myself, probably they felt this was a safer place than the over the top coffee shops post the Mumbai attack. Little did they know my seven irons which when misjudged (read as most of the time) could knock them off faster than you could say Tiger!

We (a group of 4 including coachie) had to wait for another 20 minutes as a bunch of Jet pilots (All Mallu’s) were taking their own time and they were making the champion ( your’s truly) wait. Ironical when my coach wanted to announce the arrival of the prodigy and here my own brethren had other ideas

The Mallu Jet pilots (some reeking of cheap Indian Rum) were ok to watch but they could do some work on their swing. Our great cricketing nation helps any novice to be a critic of any sport !

Finally the moment I was waiting for – My coach asked me to go out there and show the world what he had to offer……..

Seven Iron in hand, I walked to place my Tee (Ala Russel Crowe in Gladiator)…….. Heard my coach mention… ‘Just concentrate’ and I was…. Get far from the ball … I did… Ok Golfing world here I arrive…

…… A thought flashed me….. Is the half of Bangalore and Chennai out here still watching me……Oops…….lump in my throat…..sweaty palms….. heart beating louder than the bunch of mallu pilots screaming post the cheap rum put together!!!

OH MY GOD !!!! What on earth am I doing here at this unearthly hour … I should be home checking my blackberry for some interesting mails from my favorite boss on downsizing……

I always loved being the centre of attraction especially with women (Chaitali … Yes this is my biggest kept secret and sorry to go public with this) … but suddenly half of Bangalore and Chennai!! not my idea ( and I did not even have alcohol to make me feel stupidly confident)

Suddenly the Mallu pilots making the champion wait was a better option than my triple chin face looking down on a stupid ball.

Phweeet: Strike 1 – Ball in woods! Some champion indeed….. Atleast it matched one legendary golfers surname (close stuff). No one moved …. There was silence till a flock of birds (never seen the species in my 5 years in BLR) flutter out of the tree where the ball landed….I am sure Papa bird would have thought who has been visiting my nest when I have been at work as he saw an egg ( with the Nike emblem)

The only one who moved post that was my Caddie who shooed the flock and got the ball back…… Stop staring at me I thought as the pretty girl looked my way ( parents need to teach them when young!!)

Strike 2 – Coach says ‘No issue’ it happens. I thought – Must be normal for you joker not me….. Oh I miss my blackberry and my bosses mails!!

Strike 2 – Phweuuut: Sounds better !!! Hey pretty girl look at me now!!!! Hey where are you looking that did 160 Yds!



With great determination ( not mine but the coaches) I played ( or rather visited) Hole 2/3/4/5 and then it happened My First Par on Hole 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The confidence was back, so was the cockiness ‘ Hey coach ! Can I smoke here’ Go ahead mate ! Kill yourself with tobacco if not shame.

Its amazing how our typical middle class mentality tends to tag along even when you are trying put up a that ‘ this is where I belong’ show. Post the initial round, I felt myself looking from the corner of the eye every time my caddie handled my second hand ‘new’ kit. Why was he handling it like am old pair of sneakers which has done 300 KMs on asphalt! I was fuming ( inside) at the fact that my kits handles may come off and the thought of finding a tailor who would sew it up made me fume even more. You see where I come from you mend everything. Even if it does not give the result you alteast try to mend Yeah golf kit included

So that predominantly was how my first day on the Green went. I am sure my Golfing histrionics is limited in what I mention but what the hell …. Now I know why some call it ‘Golf is like life’


Soumitro – Thanks a lot for introducing me to the game and inspiring me but there are a few ( half of Chennai and Bangalore) who feel differently…. But again ‘What the hell!!!

I feel in the zone now that I am back looking at interesting mails first thing in the morning from my boss!

Fore!